i don't know when you'll get a chance to read this; but when you do, know that i'll still be waiting.

i guess we really are falling apart if we already haven't. &yeah, it's sad to say that it is my fault. it's my fault for loving someone other than you, &it's my fault we broke up. isn't it ironic, how i always thought you were the one going to leave me behind? now, it's me.

i'm not leaving you behind though, it's simply that i found someone like you, here, close to me. &it's quite hard to pass that chance.

yeah, i know you're mad, frustrated, disappointed, hurt. but, i hope you can forgive me. i know you would never do something as horrible as this to me, &i feel terrible for doing this.

i never knew we could fall apart; i didn't even deem it to be possible. but here we are; holding on to what we once had.

to be honest; i never find a day where i don't think about you. you might think of this as a silly attempt to get you to talk to me, but seriously, it's not. if you choose not to have anything to do with me; i'll accept that. i most likely deserve if for all i've done.

i've always tried to be perfect for you. &that's how i fell apart. with you, it's like, i always have to be perfect. i always have to be hot. i always have to have the sex appeal that you love so much. was that just simply me who thought that? or is it you too? did you always expect me to dress up &then take all those clothes off for you?

11306; that's when i lost Kris, my best friend.
11307; that's when i lost you. &you know, i cried that night thinking about what you told me. i'll miss you.

i never got a chance to say, that i'll miss you too. but, i guess that's pretty obvious. since, i didn't ever want to let you go; but now, after the mistake i've done; do i have a choice?

i love you but i love him too. does that make me a horrible person? don't think that i chose him over you, even though it may seem like that, cause i didn't. i would never choose between two people.

he's a great guy. if you met him, you'll think so too. don't hate him; please don't.

you're still my best friend, my brother, my everything. &i don't ever want to lose you.

you were my first love; &you're still my love. i'll never forget you &i won't try to forget you.